What is chili supposed to taste like? I still have no idea. But I made a serendipitous discovery that would upgrade my grilling game.

Time: 4/5
Passive time is still time, even if you do end up with a lot of food

Effort: 3/5
A somewhat involved process, especially if pyrotechnics are part of the game plan

A phantom itch

It’s hard to spend any amount of time in the US-dominated internet food-sphere without at least hearing about chili con carne. Having come across the borderline fanatic regard in which some people hold it, my curiosity about it has grown steadily over the years in spite of my non-existent American culinary heritage. Yet, despite my superficial familiarity for the dish, there is a gaping hole in my life where the experience of tasting it should be. This is my attempt to satisfy that strange non-nostalgia I have for chili.

Although I didn’t have any beans, I did have half a kilogram of dried lentils that I got from a Nepali grocer nearby. I once spent a month in the country and fell in love with lentils there. Something about how it sits in my stomach and keeps me satisfied for the better part of the day makes me feel warm and fuzzy. The fact that it is a good source of protein and allows me to use less meat is just the cherry on top.

Among the things I was curious about chili, one of them was what adding fire-roasted peppers would do to the flavour. And what’s the deal with the unsweetened cocoa powder touted as the secret to success in so many recipes? In retrospect, it was probably not the best idea to experiment with my first ever chili, since I (still) don’t know what a good chili is supposed to taste like. But hey, life is short. Hit me up if you do have a good chili recipe.

Despite failing to meet my primary objective, I did make a serendipitous discovery. The Xinjiang Zucchini was included to give some textural contrast to what is essentially flavoured mush on rice for the next 3 days, although that’s more for my SO’s benefit than my own (zucchini is excellent in a stir fry with shiitake mushrooms, by the way). So named because of the spice blend I used to season it, which was my experimental attempt to emulate the flavours of those barbecue skewers sold from Xinjiang-style street stalls.

I would be remiss if I did not mention Xinjiang without mentioning politics, but that would wreck my social credit score ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Nevertheless, I’m glad to say that the Xinjiang spice blend worked very well, and I am looking forward to using it on all manner of meats and vegetables the next time I grill.

Dramatis Personae

Beef

I’ve seen people do chili with chunks of stew meat, but ground beef seems to be the most popular. I could totally see stew meat cutting into larger chunks working really well, but ground beef is just easier for a weeknight dinner. Deciding the ratio of beef to lentils is left as an exercise left to the reader.

Lentils

A shelf-stable nutritional powerhouse that belongs in any pantry. I had dried red split lentils, which only require a rinse before cooking. People say to soak them, but I haven’t noticed any difference if I cook them without soaking besides a marginally long cooking time. Either way, they start to turn into mush by around the 30 minute mark so it’s not like the soak matters a lot.

I’m always amazed by how much food dried lentils become once cooked. About 1lb of lentils and 1lb of beef turned into 8 meals after taking into account the rice and vegetables. They also need a surprising amount of seasoning, and I ended up adding maybe three times the amount of spices as the pictures showed.

Aromatics

I went with bell peppers instead of hot peppers, because the GF is still recovering from a cold and can’t handle too much heat. Besides, they were on sale so I got a whole bunch for cheap. Destined to be lovingly charred by a kitchen torch in pursuit of smoky flavours, only for the smokiness to be lost in the sea of tomato.

Garlic and onion are of course always welcome.

Chili spices

Cumin, black pepper and paprika seemed to be the most common in the recipes I looked at. Garlic powder is an easy way to boost umami, so in it goes. I had coriander at hand so I went with a pinch of that too. Dried chili flakes as well, since I’m not getting any heat from the bell peppers.

By the time I got to the oregano it looked to my SO like I was simply throwing in everything I had in my spice rack. Then her already raised eyebrows went stratospheric as I went for the cocoa powder.

Tomatoes

Crushed tomatoes by the box, about the same amount by weight as the lentils and beef combined. I don’t think anyone is crazy enough to chop up so many tomatoes themselves.

Zucchini

I am indebted to Adam Ragusea for enlightening me on cutting zucchini into long sticks for easy manipulation, among many other things. The zucchini’s role in this meal is to provide some crunch and texture, a role that can also be played well by other vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower or brussel sprouts.

Xinjiang spice blend

The unexpected star of the show. Roughly four parts cumin to two parts each of Szechuan peppercorns and white pepper, plus one part each of coriander, garlic powder, sugar and salt.

Executive summary

1. Char peppers with kitchen torch. Cover and let them steam for 15 minutes before scraping off the charred skin.
2. Dice peppers and onions. Mince garlic, reserving some for the zucchini.
3. Sautee peppers, onions and garlics in oil until fragrant. Add spices and cocoa powder. Attempt to convince SO that no, you have not gone off your rocker.
4. Add ground beef into pan and allow to brown. Rinse lentils and add to pan, along with tomatoes and water/stock.
5. Bring contents of pan to a simmer. Cook rice.
6. Wash and slice zucchini into thick wedges. Working in batches, sear on all sides with high heat, then toss with Xinjiang spice mix and minced garlic with the heat off
7. Check the lentils for doneness after about 30 minutes of simmering. Adjust for seasoning and serve.

Play by Play

Char the peppers with a kitchen torch, then cover to let the skin steam. Scrape the charred bits off with a knife, wiping the char onto a paper towel.

Dice and sweat the peppers and onions, together with minced garlic. Add spices and bloom them in the hot oil. Once fragrant, add the minced beef and brown.

Rinse and add the lentils, together with tomatoes. Stir, cover and simmer while you go get the rice and vegetables together.

Working in batches if needed, sear the zucchini on high heat in a pan with some oil. Once seared, toss with minced garlic and the Xinjiang spice blend. Those will cook in the residual heat from the hot pan.

It’s up to you to make the food taste good, so adjust the seasoning to your liking. Adjust the texture if need be, with some chicken stock or water. I happen to like it pretty thick, but some like it saucier. Portion out the thicker meals before thinning out the rest if there are differences in preference for texture in the house. Send the leftovers into the fridge, secure in the knowledge that their flavour will develop and improve overnight.

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